It Is Better To Have Loved...
by Coeur De Lion
Summary: The long-awaited chapter 2 is now up!!! James runs into Lily and sparks fly! What will happen? Read to find out! Don't forget to review! L/J!!!
1. Default Chapter

A/N: This is one of my favorites that I have written! Please READ and REVIEW! On with the show… Luv ya's, Coeur De Lion  
  
Disclaimer: James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Peter (ugh!), Rosmerta, and Hogwarts (plus anything else you recognize) belongs to the wonderful J. K. Rowling. All else, the plot and such, is mine!  
  
It Is Better to Have Loved…  
  
James Potter sighed as he looked around his brand-new London flat. Just then it seemed very empty. James, now nearly two years out of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, still had not decided what to do with his life. At the moment, he was playing on a less than well-known Quidditch team. Though he could get onto any one of the top teams with ease, the career of an Auror was appealing to him. A glance at the bags and boxes on the floor brought James back out of his thoughts. He picked up a large box and trudged down the hall.  
  
A few hours later, a knock on the door sounded and James put down the chair he was moving to answer it. A grinning face appeared in the doorway, carrying yet another large box.  
  
"Padfoot!" James exclaimed, taking the box from his friend and setting it down on the table.  
  
Sirius Black, another recent graduate of Hogwarts, was James' best friend. They were two of the famous (or infamous, depending on your point of view) Marauders, the third and fourth being Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. {A/N: Ugh! I HATE that ugly little slimy gitface! Needless to say he will not be appearing in this fic much, unless it's to say that he broke his leg, or something equally (if not more) horrible!}  
  
Sirius sat down at the table and pushed the box toward James.  
  
"House-warming gift," he said. James looked suspiciously at the box and then back to Sirius.  
  
"Hmm… I don't know if I should open this. Knowing you it's probably Filibuster's Fireworks or Dungbombs or both." Sirius grinned.  
  
"Don't worry, it's safe to open. I wouldn't do something like that to my bestest buddy! Now, Snape on the other hand…" James grinned too, and unwrapped the gift. Inside was every kind of candy imaginable, wizard and Muggle alike.  
  
"Aw, you shouldn't have," James said, mock-blushing.  
  
"But, me being the cool wizard that I am, did anyway," Sirius said. "Knowing that I'll probably eat it all." He grabbed a box of Chocolate Frogs and unwrapped one. James laughed as the magical candy hopped out of the room, with Sirius in hot pursuit after it.  
  
When Sirius returned, munching on the Chocolate Frog, James had started in on the Pumpkin Pasties.  
  
"So, seen Lily lately?" Sirius asked.  
  
James choked on his pasty, coughed and responded, "No," in a would-be casual voice. Sirius noticed all this, and left soon after, claiming he needed to be somewhere, leaving James to his troubled thoughts and memories.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
(Flashback)  
  
The perfect couple at Hogwarts, if you asked just about anybody was nearly always said to be James Potter and Lily Evans. James was Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, Head Boy, top student, famous Marauder and all-around Prince Charming at Hogwarts. He was funny, sweet, brave, mischievous, and was even tied with his best friends Sirius Black and Remus Lupin for Hottie of the Millennium when some Hufflepuff girls took a vote. Calling him popular would have been the understatement of the year.  
  
Lily Evans was Head Girl, top student, noted prankster and best friend of the Marauders. She was gorgeous, with fiery red hair and sparkling bright green eyes. Popular, kind, smart and caring were all words associated with Lily; she also had a twisted sense of humor.  
  
She and James were meant for each other, anyone could see that. The whole of Hogwarts expected the announcement of their engagement any day. Lily and James expected it themselves. But, suddenly, it happened. They broke up, going their separate ways. People were shocked; no one believed it. "Lily and James broke up? You're joking!" Eventually, people forgot about it. The girls' of Hogwarts only thoughts were, 'James Potter is single again!'  
  
No one thought that Lily or James really cared. There was no great difference in their daily routines. Only if you were close to one or both of them, could you notice the subtle changes. For one, James did not have any more girlfriends, much to the disappointment of the girls and his fellow ladies' man, Sirius. He concentrated more on schoolwork and could often be seen studying feverishly in the library late into the night. He grew quieter, but these were only slight changes, hardly noticeable to anyone.  
  
Lily, quieter than many to begin with, became a shadow, an echo of her former self. She spoke to hardly anyone, except to point a first year in the right direction, or answer a question in class. If you were in her dorm, you would know she cried herself to sleep. When asked if she was okay, she would answer brightly, but a few moments later, she'd have crawled back into her shell again, and could not be reached.  
  
Lily Evans seemed to forget the existence of James Potter entirely. She never acknowledged his presence in class or cheered for him at Quidditch games. She barely glanced at him, and if she ever did, her eyes slid right by as if he weren't there. When James once approached her in class to ask her a question, she stared at him blankly. Stared and blinked as if she had never seen him before.  
  
The entire rest of the year went on in this fashion. Though Lily had "forgotten" James, it appeared that she had not forgotten her other close friends. She had not forgotten Arabella Figg, her best friend, or Sirius Black or Remus Lupin or even Severus Snape- she still kicked him everyday in the halls.  
  
Whenever Remus and Sirius hung out with Lily, James wasn't there. He was always close, oh yes, always near, but not quite close enough to hear their conversation. Occasionally, Sirius could make Lily laugh and her laugh would ring out over the Common Room. One of the things James missed most about Lily was her laugh. She used to laugh so easily and effortlessly- the sound of it was beautiful- but now it was different. Now her laugh was strained, forced. It sounded almost painful, as if she had not laughed in a long while, and had forgotten how.  
  
Nearing the end of their years at Hogwarts, James watched as Lily grew more and more distant. She barely even spoke to Remus, Sirius and Arabella. From Lily, a smile was rare and a laugh was never heard. When a Graduation ball was announced, Lily remained unreachable, even as the hall erupted with whispers. The Head Boy and Girl were required to go together, and as James approached Lily, she merely blinked at him. She did not protest at having to go with him, nor did she jump for joy.  
  
On the evening of the dance, James waited nervously in the Gryffindor Common Room. What if she didn't come?, he thought. A movement caught James' eye and he looked up. Lily stood at the top of the stairs, shining with ice-cold beauty. Her dress, with an empire waist, was a palest of pale green, square cut in the neck with no sleeves. The gown touched the floor, barely showing black high heels. A white lily clip held back dark red wavy curls, and an emerald lay at her throat.  
  
Lily's face was beautiful as always, James thought, but there was something different about her. Her face was mask-like- it was as if she wore a blank mask. She was cool and composed… all except for her eyes. Her eyes were the loveliest James had seen. There was something entrancing, bewitching even, about them, as if she could peer into your soul. They were sparkling green, but after she and James broke up, they had become dull, lifeless. Now, as James watched Lily descend the stairs, he saw her eyes were different somehow. Oddly bright.  
  
Lily said nothing as James silently slipped the lily corsage onto her wrist. When he took her arm, however, she stiffened, not meeting his eyes. They made their way to the Great Hall.  
  
When they entered, whispers broke out all over the room. The students suddenly remembered Hogwarts' "Perfect Couple". If Lily noticed this, she made no comment, and James did not speak.  
  
Dinner was uneventful. Lily spoke to no one, and no one spoke to her. Remus and Sirius, in a vain attempt to make her smile, turned Snape's hair red and gold, but Lily did not seem to see. It was as if she was made of ice, and would not melt.  
  
After dinner was finished, the tables were cleared away and Dumbledore stood up.  
  
"It is time for the ball to commence. As the Head Boy and Girl are to open the ball, would they please rise and begin."  
  
James stood and offered his hand to Lily, which she took. They walked out onto the floor. James bowed and Lily curtsied and they began the dance, a waltz. After the first song, Lily sat down and James went to get her some punch. They sat for a few more songs, but then James stood and asked Lily to dance again. She consented and the music came on. A rumba. The dance of love, James thought. I wonder if Lily knows that.  
  
As the song ended, James looked down at Lily. She was staring at him. Without thinking, James leaned down and softly kissed her. When he leaned back to look at her, her eyes were wide with shock. A teardrop glistened on her cheek. She turned and ran from the room.  
  
***End Flashback***  
  
James shook his head. Lily Evans was nothing to him. Looking around at the many still-unpacked boxes, James stood up. He needed a drink. He grabbed a jacket and Disapperated.  
  
Arriving at the Three Broomsticks a few moments later, James looked around as the many memories of Hogwarts and Hogsmeade trips came flooding back. That was where he, Sirius and Remus had tripped Snape in the snow and bombarded him with snow-, ice-, and slush-balls. And that was where he and Lily had first kissed… James turned abruptly and walked into the Three Broomsticks.  
  
James took a seat at the bar, between a girl with red hair and an old warlock. Madam Rosmerta asked him what he wanted, and as he ordered a Butterbeer, he winked at her. Rosmerta grinned and set about to get his drink.  
  
"You know, James…" she said as she took a glass. But James never heard what he was supposed to know. Because, at that moment, a flurry of activity to his right drew James' attention and he turned. What he saw made his breath catch. The young woman he had sat down next to hurriedly shoved a few coins on the counter. She caught her cloak and in doing so, James managed to catch a glimpse of her face. It was Lily.  
  
A/N: Do you like it? You had better, or else I will hunt you down. Have you heard of Procrusteas? Look him up and then you will review. Heh heh heh… J/K! But seriously folks, please please please please with a cherry and anchovies on top REVIEW!!!!!!  
  
If people like it, then I will post more… However, if I do not get reviews, I will not post any more and you will be stuck with a CLIFFHANGER FOREVER!!! Only a privileged few will know how it ends! (lol, Riskina!)  
  
Luv ya's, Coeur De Lion  
  
P.S. Thank you super-mucho to all the great people that reviewed my other fics, Head Over Feet and Goody, Goody Gumdrops! (lol, Riskina: Goody, Goody Tissues!) Please read and review those too! Please Please PLEASE!!! 


	2. ...And Lost Than Never To Have Loved At ...

Hey Everybody and especially my wonderful reviewers! (See note at bottom.) Thanks, I'm so super-happy that you like my story! To Y. Kuang: Thanks so much for your long review! This might only have two chapters, but I hope you like it anyway! Also, Procrustes (I don't know how to spell it… Ya' think I actually listen in school? j/k!lol!) was some gruesome ancient guy… what I meant was I'll go all procrustes on people if they don't review… Did that make sense? Oh well. Anyway, thanks!  
  
Mucho-Thanks-o to RISKINA, my best friend (don't worry, other best friends, I luv y'all too!!) who reviewed all my stories (I begged), is my editor and is in general totally splendiferous!!! Luv ya forfer, Kinsey!!!  
  
ALSO, super-bunny-hug-thanks to Banana, my bestest buddy, who also reviewed all my stories, is my other editor, and is Tiggerific!!! She also edited the 2nd Chapter for moi! Luv ya forfer, Banana!!!  
  
A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I know, I'm evil cause I left the end at a cliffie, but I was having more writer's block. Sorry! Anyway, I've talked to my editors (thanks girlies!), and done some serious thinking (I know, how unusual! j/k) and I hope this is up to par. If it isn't, please don't flame me… Constructive criticism, and I could rewrite the ending.  
  
Also, I could have been *really* super-mean and said that I wouldn't post any more on this story until I got some more reviews on my other stories. I think they're pretty good, so now that I'm actually sitting down and writing this next chappie, please READ and REVIEW my other stories! I'll luv ya forfer! (my language… translation: I'll luv ya forever!)  
  
Disclaimer: You know the deal. I am merely trying to pay tribute to the wonderful writer of the Harry Potter stuff, Ms. J. K. Rowling. All of it belongs to her except the plot and the dress and some other stuff. That's mine. Don't steal. I'll go procrustes on you!  
  
On with the show…  
  
"You know, James…" she said as she took a glass. But James never heard what he was supposed to know. Because, at that moment, a flurry of activity to his right drew James' attention and he turned. What he saw made his breath catch. The young woman he had sat down next to hurriedly shoved a few coins on the counter. She caught her cloak and in doing so, James managed to catch a glimpse of her face. It was Lily.  
  
***  
  
James sat frozen for a few seconds as what he had just seen registered in his mind. In this short time that James was in shock, Lily took the opportunity to escape out the door. James realized this and ran out after her.  
  
"Lily!"  
  
The cold air stung his face as James ran outside. His feet crunched on the fresh snow. It was starting to snow, and the flakes were coming down fast. James could barely see the retreating figure in the dark cloak ahead of him. Only her bright hair shone in the moonlight. Lily did not stop when James called to her. James ran faster.  
  
"Lily, please! Stop!" Lily slowed, but did not turn. James reached her and stood in front of her so that she faced him. He could not see her face, hidden behind her hair.  
  
"Lily…" She looked up and James nearly gasped at the beauty he hadn't seen in almost two years.  
  
Her eyes were wide in the dark. They glistened in the moonlight with… unshed tears? Her face was pale, and one tear escaped its dwelling to trail slowly down her face leaving a path of silver across her cheek. Lily looked away.  
  
"Lily, give me a chance. Just listen…" James pleaded.  
  
Lily turned sharply.  
  
"Listen?" she hissed. "Listen? What, so you can break my heart again? No, James."  
  
Lily started to walk away, but James grabbed her arm.  
  
"Lil, I never meant to hurt you!" he cried.  
  
"Then why did you let me fall in love with you?" Lily was openly crying now; tears poured silently down her cheeks.  
  
"I was trying to keep you safe!" James said. "I broke up with you to protect you!"  
  
"James, I died that day," Lily whispered. She looked away and James instinctively stepped closer.  
  
"Do you think I could live with myself knowing you could be killed? That Voldemort would come after you?"  
  
"Do you think I could live without you?" Lily cried. "James, I would die for you!"  
  
Her words rang out through the night. Silence.  
  
"James, I love you!" Lily whispered, turning to look at him. "I don't care what happens as long as I have you."  
  
Without warning, James pulled Lily into a kiss that left her breathless. When they pulled apart, James looked at Lily.  
  
"I have loved you since I first saw you. I would die protecting you."  
  
Lily smiled, a watery smile, but the first true smile that James had seen in two years. "I know."  
  
Yea! It's done! I hope you luv it, feel free to put it or me on your favorites (wink wink) lol!!! Also, the title is from the quote "It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all."  
  
Thanks to: LilyAndJames4Life, EconGirl, Lalala, Lady Ani, Quinn, Luisa, Lady Wildcat, Fawnvw, Lily Evans Potter, anon, Sierra Sitruc, Katy Kat, Y. Kuang, Drops of Jupiter, The Marauder's Map, Cleo2427, Riskina (lylas!) and Banana (lylas)! 


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